Jesus as a Man

Belfrey Youth are spending Tuesdays leading up to Christmas looking at the book of John as we explore a series titled 'Just Jesus'. As a team, we've recognised that if young people are going to be transformed by the life of Jesus, we need to encourage a culture of picking up the Bible, reading it, discovering it, understanding it and sharing it. This is why over the summer period we put out a plea for people to sponsor Youth Bibles to be kept at our youth & children's work centre, Basement Central. At a mere cost of £8.00 each we were able to purchase 17 - and it's still not too late to sponsor one! Do email me if you'd like to lee.kirkby@belfrey.org

Last night at youth, I attempted to shed some light on why Jesus became a man. As I was reading and preparing, I was encapsulated even more by this man Jesus. To be fair, some do say he could have just been someone who lived 2000 years ago and caused a bit of a fuss for the 33 years he lived on earth. But, when we read the scriptures, discover and understand them, each book, chapter and verse is pointing towards this man Jesus as being God. Here are a couple of things that took my attention: 

Jesus enters his own creation...

In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. And God said, Let there be light: and there was light. Genesis 1:1-2

God spoke and galaxies flung into being, stars lit up the night sky and planets started orbiting their suns. God spoke and the waters and land were filled with plants, creatures both great and small. God spoke again and so man and woman were created, carefully designed so that we could think, speak and love. God is the author of all creation. His voice was like the putting of pen to paper when he created it all. But look, the author of all creation then comes as a human as well (see John 1:14) "The Word became flesh." During the exodus God made his dwelling place in the tabernacle tent which when translated means 'dwelling place'. God is literally pitching his tent among us now through this man Jesus. God entered his own creation, as a mere humble human, faced with all the inevitabilities of life including death. Jesus who calls himself "light of the world" the same light that was present at the very beginning of time (referred to in Genesis 1:2)  was prepared to come as one of us because he loves us so much. Our challenge is to pitch God's dwelling where he is not yet known. 

Jesus came to bless all people...

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16

God not only invites us to receive the gift of salvation, but to share it with others too. Last night I used a candle analogy to demonstrate that we do not need to be fearful of spreading the good news. In a darkened room take one candle of any size and begin to light others from it. No matter how many more you light from it, the original will never lose its brightness. Instead, what will happen is the whole place will get lighter and lighter. In the same way, when we share the news of Jesus his light will remain just as bright in us and will brighten other lives too.

Last week I had my hair cut. It was my day off. When asked by the polite barber what I did for a living I took the easy option of saying that I was a youth worker. I was tired and it was wet and I just wanted to get back home to relax. He then pursued to ask where I worked. I thought he really is interested. A little voice in my head said "this is your chance to tell him about Jesus". I failed. What was it? Was I embarrassed? Couldn't I be bothered? Didn't I take what Jesus had done for me seriously enough? I want my family to know Jesus, my mum, dad and sister, but how will they if I duck out of every opportunity I'm faced with? 

  

Jesus came to offer us the gift of eternity. John 1:12 says "Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God..." Jesus came as a gift with authority to make us his children. All we need to do is either accept the tragedy of rejecting this gift, or be blessed by receiving him. By accepting that Jesus died on the cross for us, we all share the same DNA of Christ himself. It is that simple. So why not share Him with others?

I'm Not Supported - 3/3

Who's seeing your vision? Who's hearing your complaints? When do you meet with your line manager?  If your immediate response to these questions is 'Help!' then there are probably some serious management issues. I think feeling unsupported is the single most common reason for people in ministry to feel shot down. Apparently the average tenure for a youth worker to remain in post is 18 months. We've got to ask why that is?

When our voice isn't heard and when we're not listened to, we go into a period of trying to do it all alone, often neglecting our own relationship and walk with Jesus. It doesn't work. In Titus 2, Paul encourages older men and women to be role models and mentors to younger people. Is this modeled in your ministry? Is this being modeled with you?

Communication is a key factor to having an effective ministry. I've always said that team needs to model first what a team wants to model in those they minister to. If a team isn't functional, communicating, affirming, giving and receiving feedback regularly, then we begin to feel unsupported. Maybe this is you? If you're a manager, you need to feel supported before you can support others. And if you're not being supported, it's difficult to support others, so make sure you get support. Give your workers time. And if you're not getting the time you need, you have a responsibility to ask for it for the sake of your own ministry. 

We all need that someone in our ministry who believes in us. That person who inspires us. That person who confronts and challenges us about things. We all need someone who we can look up to and go to for advice. So many young leaders in ministry are walking this all alone. We have a duty to lead our young, pick them up when they've fallen and help them move up the next step. 

If you're feeling shot down, there's something you can do about it. If you've shot someone down, there's something you can do about it. If you know someone who is shot down, there's something you can do about it. 

I'm Not Called - 2/3

From time to time we may go through periods of thinking 'this isn't me anymore' or 'I don't think I'm meant to be doing this'. Some days I wake up and think to myself 'what am I doing?’ I doubt I'm the only one that thinks like this. It doesn't last. Sometimes we just need to re-ignite our passion and if we're not seeing results in numbers, volunteers, spiritual gifts, then it's sometimes difficult. Don’t loose sight of the light when discouragement knocks you down.

Are we asking this of ourselves?

Paul says in 1 Thessalonians 5:24 "The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it." As believers we've all been called to our different mission fields and when we've been knocked we sometimes question where this may be. It is God who calls us and his call on our lives remains persistent through all things difficult. Seek and know what God has called you to do and run with it through whatever you may face. I doubt every time I face a brick wall. Persist and you'll break down the walls and walk straight through. God made me to work with young people. That's what I'll do. 

Occasionally we have to brush the dust off from beneath our feet and move on – sometimes literally. I believe God uses the challenging periods of our ministry to mature us and move us to a deeper and better place. When we become discouraged it makes us more committed and dependent on Jesus. It’s during these times of questioning God’s call on our lives that we are shaped and developed. 

God calls us and equips us for our ministry. Minister in places where your passion oozes from you. 


Tomorrow's final blog is titled 'I'm not supported' - unfortunately a condition many youth workers are victims of. 

I'm Not Good Enough - 1/3

Most of us in ministry will bear scars and experience stings every so often. A friend of mine recently said he feels like he's being shot down. The truth is, discouragement is unfortunately a reality in all aspects of ministry. When we say 'yes' to ministry, we're also saying 'yes' to times of trial and discouragement. Much of this comes from a closer place to us than we'd expect and want it to come from - the church. In this three part blog I'll highlight three things that may contribute to you feeling like you've been shot down: 

I'm not good enough. 

How many times have we thought this? 

Paul says in 1 Timothy 4:12 "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young..."  Having gone through three years myself of not feeling good enough for a job I was doing, I can empathise with most people who consider themselves unworthy. I must say, many of these feelings were brought on by others - their words and behind closed door decisions infiltrated my whole being, often knocking me off course. Sometimes it was not what they said to me, but what they didn't say to me. I just wasn't good enough. Maybe they thought I was too young? Maybe it was because I didn't have the experience they were looking for? 'But why not give me a chance?'  I used to scream! Paul continues to say that young people should set an '...example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.' As young leaders we need to guard ourselves from attack and criticism  making sure that we do set an example in every way, so not to give anyone reason to blame our actions on our age. A young age doesn't make someone unusable by God. 

I hear of so many young leaders being discouraged particularly as they're just starting out in ministry. Their leaders expect beyond their years in return. They expect too much. As a manager myself, I expect to deal with personal and team failures from time to time. I also happen to believe in the power of investing in people's potential. That is knowing someone isn't quite there yet, but is capable of getting there and I'll commit to helping you get there. How many young leaders do we just leave hanging there in ministry to fend for themselves? 

It means taking risks and bold decisions from time to time. So many churches don't see what's in front of their own eyes. Are we identifying, raising and discipling young leaders within our own churches? I'm thankful for the people who took a risk with me, all because they saw potential in me. They gave me responsibilities knowing that I might not be able to carry them. But they were ready to catch them. They stretched me. They saw something in me. They gave me a go.  

Know that you are good enough. You were good enough for Jesus to do what he did for you. You are good enough. 

Are we growing young leaders? Are we developing young leaders? Do we trust our young leaders? Do we believe in our young leaders? What are our words and actions saying to our young leaders? Do we create a culture of 'you are good enough here'? 

You are good enough for Him. That's the truth. 

Tomorrow's blog is titled 'I'm not called' - a feeling we sometimes get when not being good enough has saturated us for far too long. 

Basement Central - A Twenty Year Vision Fulfilled?

I write this twenty four hours after our first youth gathering was held at Basement Central. What a fantastic occasion it was to witness the fulfillment of a twenty year vision to have a dedicated space for youth and children's work at St Michael le Belfrey.

Back in 1993 my predecessors paused all youth & children's meetings for a period of three months to seek God's guidance and pray for God to reveal his vision for the ministry. Although they didn't know it then, the vision for Basement Central was birthed. Ever since, there has been a growing desire to see a dedicated space. Many avenues were previously explored, and much effort was put in by past Belfrey staff who were passionate about transforming young lives for Jesus. It is clear now, that all things are in God's time and not ours. In May 2013, Basement Central youth & children's work centre has opened it's doors in the basement of Central Methodist Church with whom we've partnered with. 

I believe it is no coincidence that just seven months into my new job as Head of Youth & Children's Work, God placed this vision at the centre of my heart. I've felt from the start that the youth & children's ministry at St Michael le Belfrey is to be one that pioneers and offers something exemplary to the young people of this city. Whilst praying last night, one of our volunteers picked up that we are now physically based underground and comparable to roots, we need to be rooted in good soil before bearing good fruit. I believe God has blessed us with a physical building that we can spiritually root ourselves in, but the fruit is yet to come!

It's almost as though Basement Central has been an agitating itch over the last twenty years that just hasn't gone away. And for good reason. Is now the time? I believe it is and I'm guessing many others do too. For two weeks over Easter an army of volunteers gave endless hours of service to transforming the basement. A substantial number of generous people gave in excess of £13,000 to see the vision complete. A whole host of hospitable people prepared lunches for the teams and brought in heaps of chocolate treats to keep spirits high. People were reading our www.basementcentral.tumblr.com blog from other nations and sending us financial gifts from across the globe. People not from York heard about the project and visited us off the street unannounced, encouraging us and praying for us. This is no mistake. 

Last night, as I stood back in awe at a phenomenal group of young believers and volunteers worshipping God singing 'Spirit Breakout', I couldn't help but think 'what now God?'. We now have a fantastic facility and resource available to us - but what do we do with it? The twenty year vision may appear to have been fulfilled, but I'm uncomfortable with going along with that. I genuinely believe God is yet to reveal his full purpose for Basement Central. As we seek to take root, I'm praying for patience. As people before me persevered with the vision, I pray that I too persevere in praying that this holy space will bear fruit and that we'll see many transformed lives in the years that lie ahead.

Belfrey Youth worship for the first time in Basement Central.

Tonight, our Belfrey Group listened to a recording of David Watson (past Vicar of St Michael le Belfrey) who was talking about the Holy Spirit. Hearing him speak challenged me to think 'how desperately do I yearn to see God's Spirit breathed into people's lives?' The spirit that moved so powerfully at the first pentecost is the same spirit that is with us today. This is what I see:

I believe York will see a generation of young people not just longing to see heaven touch earth, but they will be the ones who grab the heavenly realm with their own hands and pray it in. Our young people will not only witness the transforming power of God's Holy Spirit in their own lives but will see it breathed into the lives of hundreds of people young and old.  Our young people will be identified as God's own as they walk around with tongues of fire on them which will pass from young person to young person. The light across this city will shine brighter each day as stories of salvation are celebrated daily. Our young people will be the ones who break down generations old barriers and walls seeing an outpouring of God's spirit breakout and reign. Sounds of heaven will pour from the mouths of every young person and their songs will reach far and wide across The North. People will come and see. People will go away changed and renewed.

The prophet Joel writes eight hundred years or so before the first pentecost happened. He had a vision of an outpouring of God's spirit long before it actually happened. Please join with me in praying that we will persevere in longing to see a fresh outpouring of God's spirit across this city and in the lives of our children. Do you believe it can happen? I do. 

Joel 2:28 

“And afterward,

    I will pour out my Spirit on all people.

Your sons and daughters will prophesy,

    your old men will dream dreams,

    your young men will see visions.

29 Even on my servants, both men and women,

    I will pour out my Spirit in those days.

30 I will show wonders in the heavens

    and on the earth,

    blood and fire and billows of smoke.

31 The sun will be turned to darkness

    and the moon to blood

    before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord.

32 And everyone who calls

    on the name of the Lord will be saved;

for on Mount Zion and in Jerusalem

    there will be deliverance,

    as the Lord has said,

even among the survivors

    whom the Lord calls.

So, a twenty year vision fulfilled? Not yet. There may be paint on the walls and carpet on the floors. But, the best is yet to come!

Are You a Discouraged Youth Worker?

From time to time we all go through peaks and troughs. For those of us who work in youth ministry, there's no magic escape from feeling discouraged occasionally - it faces us all. Over the past few months I've seen and talked to many young leaders who are discouraged and question their callings. Most of them close friends. It's upsetting to see a clearly gifted and talented youth worker often well trained and experienced feel knocked down. 

If you're a youth worker, I want you to read what's to come and feel encouraged. Know that you're appreciated. That you're doing kingdom work. That you're loved. That He delights in you. I want to say 'thank you' too. 

Youth workers are heroes. They are few and rare. They are the people willing to walk into young lives when everyone else seems to be walking out. They stand up and fight hard to disprove the gloomy statistics daunting the future of today's youth.  They are people who believe in a better life for our children and preach a message of hope and salvation in a world of gloom and doom. They are a breed of people who see potential and not write offs. 

Youth workers love God and love young people. They desire to see young people in a loving relationship with their Heavenly Father. They are a listening ear when there is no one to listen. They are a mother/father/big sister/brother when there is no one. They are people who do not quit on young people. They believe in them. 

Youth workers give up precious free time, weekends and work unsociable hours and late nights. They give that little bit out of their own pocket to buy hot chocolate and bread for that evenings youth meeting. Youth workers invest in a generation with all that they have. 

Youth workers are often perceived as over grown kids, but they are the ones who believe in a positive childhood. They are not always understood. Not always asked. They are often the ones on the frontline of many battles. But, they have a God given gift and have his power and strength through the Holy Spirit to get through and break barriers. 

The task ahead is big and challenging. If you're discouraged, pick yourself up. We cannot afford to lose you. The harvest is plentiful and there's few of us working at it. 

Your work matters. Please don't give up. I was once a young person and can only write this because the people that meant most to me (although I didn't always tell them and wish I had) didn't give up on me. It was my youth workers that meant most to me.  

You're making a world of a difference. 

Basement Central - A Huge Thank You!

The last two weeks have been a combination of the most exciting, visionary, community building and tiresome two weeks of my life. I am thrilled that so many members of the church, locally and regionally have felt the call to be part of Basement Central. 

The commitment and dedication of all the workers most of them volunteers, lunch providers, those who have prayed and those who have encouraged has been humbling and inspiring. It is a great encouragement to me and my team knowing that so many people are behind this amazing venture, which we pray will be a turning point in working with many more children and young people in the city of York bringing them to Christ - Serving God's Transformation of The North.

Please continue to visit our blog www.basementcentral.tumblr.com to see the finishing touches fall into place and keep an eye out for our opening which is likely to be in early May.

For now, thank you and God bless.

O Taste and See

O taste and see how gracious the Lord is: blessed is the man who trusteth in him. Psalm 34:8 King James Version. 

I remember singing this incredible short anthem as a chorister. It's one of them pieces of music where your hairs stand up on the back of your neck. Have you ever had that? I even remember year after year the same chorister singing the solo and once thought 'I want to give it a go'. When the opportunity was opened up during choir practice one night, I jumped at the chance and put my hand up. The choirmaster began to play the introduction... What a fail! The words, the music, absolutely nothing came out from my mouth. I still remember it and believe that embarrassing and unfortunate experience still stands heavy with me today. 

Listen to it sounding perfect here: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKXD4hndlWs

As a chorister, you sing enormous amounts of scripture, sometimes without recognising and appreciating the words, only the music. More than ten years have gone since my voice broke and I know significant chunks of scripture now because I still remember the music we sang them to. 

The words from Psalm 38:8 are capitulated in the anthem O Taste and See which is written by Vaughan Williams . Today these words have struck me. I think spiritually, emotionally and mentally, I'm currently in one of those whirlwind moments. It has been a season of things moving so fast that I've not yet processed what's happened and what's still happening. My life, particularly in the last six months, has changed and transformed massively. And I know there's still more yet to come! I suppose there always will be change to come. 

It strikes me that change is often something people are fearful of. It's the unknown, the end of something old and the beginning of something new that unsettles some people. We all deal with change in different ways. Some crack on, deal with it as if nothing phases them. Others find it hard to accept, and settle into new ways. Change can often feel like bereavement rather than celebration. It can often be liberation or even a burden. 

The words O Taste and See are a warm invitation for us to personally try the whole 'believing in God' thing out. It's also a reassurance, saying that if we trust in God - we'll like what we'll taste and see. Many people turn to prayer in the most darkest of days in their lives. Why? Because some people recognise that in all their desperation the only other viable option left can be God. I'm challenged today, to not only trust God when everything else fails, but trust him in everything.

What we taste and what we see will be good. Because God is good. 

Prayer can do anything God can do.

24/7 Prayer at The Belfrey  

Outside, York Minster keeps watch over the city whilst inside, in this one small room, an even smaller chap has come to spend time with God. It's 2.23am and yes I'm sat comfortably in The Richardson Room at The Belfrey which has been transformed into a 24/7 Prayer room. I'm doing the 1.00-5.00am slot. 

I'm surrounded by so many people's expressions of prayer. It's not all words and pictures, there's a tangible presence because  prayer has saturated this place. God has made a home here for the week and many have come as guests. 

These words struck me tonight "you have not, because you ask not". It is easy, particularly working for a large and busy city centre Anglican Church to get caught up in the demands of your job. It is too easy at times to forget what we are in fact called to do and that we should do everything in His name and in prayer. God is working a treat at the moment, exciting things are happening. The Fusion Team who are based here and part of our G2 Congregation provided a banquet for over 100 people last Friday with just 12 hours to plan and prepare. People of all kinds were fed and touched by God's generosity. Things of Biblical proportions are not impossible with prayer.

Here at The Belfrey we meet as a staff team to pray every morning, we also have small staff prayer groups and tomorrow evening is an Evening of Prayer for the whole church to get involved in. I believe we're a praying church. And why? Because without it we have nothing, but through it we have everything. And we believe it works and underpins everything so that's why we do it.  

As a church we want to play our part in helping to Serve God's Transformation of the North. Many of the great recorded revivals started with one or two meeting together to pray for God to move. We don't want to be arrogant about our vision, which is why we want to adopt a servant approach to help God in winning back this nation and particularly the North for Him.

Literally feet away from me is Europe's largest gothic cathedral. A beacon of faith, visible from miles away. I often think about the people who put their money in the pot to pay for such buildings to be built. They knew God personally and wanted to glorify him. Having earlier watched a television programme about how the Chinese can construct a 18 storey building to accommodate 1000 people in just 14 days, I am wondering what we with God's help can do to bring this nation back and build His kingdom here. Surely if we know God, we want to help him build his kingdom? Don't we? 

I'm still in my early days as Head of Youth & Children's Work but even so I'm excited about the plans he's revealing to us as a team. There's already major possibilities being discussed and prayed about that could change the face of our youth & children's ministry  in the city. Please pray that we would listen and honour God in seeking his will through prayer.

Sometimes we limit God by limiting ourselves. In the summer I was in Uganda. The night sky there was incredible. You could see stars there like no where else. "How can anyone not believe in God?" I thought. If we really believe in the power of prayer, then let us not hinder God's work by not doing it. I'm going to spend the next couple of hours praying for the youth & children's work whilst most of you sleep. I may be in the shadow of a man made gothic building of huge proportions but I still believe in Biblical proportions. Let us not have because we haven't asked. Prayer can do anything God can do. So do it. 

Some of our friends are lost.

As a Christian who happens to work full time for a church, I'm increasingly becoming aware that I need to spend more time than I currently do with non-Christians. "Eh?" you might be asking yourself. 

Just ask yourself "how much time do I spend with people of little or no faith?"  We can get so wrapped up into the mechanics of church that we forget who we are really called to be amongst. I love church, and for the vast majority of weeks in the year, I can't wait to be worshipping on a Sunday morning with my fellow brothers and sisters. Sunday (or whenever it is that you meet) is a celebration of time together and ultimately a collective time worshipping God.  But attending a service isn't where our responsibility ends, it's where it begins. 

I've heard it said before that the church exists for the messed up people. I like this idea, just because when we think we've got it all sussed out, and we're fine and dandy, it helps us put a perspective on what we're about. Its not about those who've got it all sorted. In fact, I'm just as much a messed up person as is anyone else, so who am I to think I'm sorted and "you're not".  

Are our churches full of broken and lost people? And if not, why not! 

Sometimes churches can implode on themselves. I've heard it actually does happen, sadly. It becomes too focused on itself, on "me" that it forgets who it exists for and what it's purpose is in the world. We live in a culture that is driven by "me", and not "you". In your heart ask, is church a place for "me" or for "you"?  The truth is, a church couldn't exist on just "the found", on "you" because no one is ever just found. It takes someone to find us. 

Church should be a home. A safe place. A sanctuary. A dwelling where people are invited, welcomed, nurtured, looked after and discipled. A place for messed up and lost people. 

Jesus tells us the parable of the lost sheep in Luke 15. The Pharisees where verbally attacking Jesus for eating with sinners and taking them under his wing. He then told a story of how a shepherd lost a sheep and although it was only one sheep, he searched until he found it and brought it home. 

I suppose I'm asking us to think about our attitude towards the lost. Is all our attention on those within the church? Or is all our attention on ourselves even? We are called to be shepherds in the world. We live among lost sheep. Even we sometimes go astray and need shepherding back. Yes, even you. 

God is so desperate to find his lost sheep, that he goes out to find just one. Are we prepared to honour God and go out into the rain, the wind and the storms to search for his lost children? How messy are we prepared to get in bringing the messed up back to the father's house? 

 

Sometimes I wake up and my attitude is "I'm found so thats ok" (even without intentionally thinking it). Instead, I should wake up and my attitude be "I'm found and some of my brothers and sisters are still lost, so I'm going out to find them and bring them back to dad!" 

We occasionally have to ask ourselves difficult questions. Like, "what do I do in finding the lost?" God's passion is bringing the lost home. So should ours. Being in relationship with the father is the best thing ever! So let's share the joy. 

Some of your friends are still lost...

My Marriage Proposal Story!

Just before Christmas 2011, I said to Rachel "if I asked you to marry me what would you say?" and her reply was "you know what I'd say". From that moment I knew Rachel was the person I wanted to marry  (although I did have an idea a little before that).

In the months leading up to our return visit to Uganda in August 2012, I imagined proposing to Rachel on Lake Bunyonyi. This was to become a reality as I purchased the engagement ring on Saturday 21 July from Samuel Lawrence Jewellers in Beverley with Ben and Ellie there. A bacon sandwich and a cup of tea provided a welcome break in deciding the right choice of ring. A visit of a known Revd in the jewellers also confirmed the ring choice. 

On the morning of our departure, I asked everyone to leave my house so I could "check that all the electric sockets are off". In fact, it was to enable me time to go upstairs and grab the ring hidden above my wardrobe and put it firmly at the bottom of my bag. 

The journey of the ring to Ben and Ellie's house in Cambridge was eventful. I decided to wind Ben up by sending him a text saying "I've forgotten the most important thing". He tried ringing me but I prolonged the joke by not answering. 

As we arrived outside their home, Ben arrives alongside my car with a ring box in his pocket. What a joke! It turns out he manically rode from shop to shop in Cambridge looking for an alternative ring. Once inside,I gave Ben the real engagement ring and he was to look after it until we arrived at the lake. 

Once in Uganda, I made a nervous effort to visit the ring every night in Ben and Ellie's room. I knew it was right, but I was beginning to gather nerves. I never doubted Rachel would say "yes". The week prior to the deed, many Ugandan friends where quietly and openly asking me "when are you going to propose?" At Caleb's giveaway, his neighbour called Franco turned to me and said "I see the way she cares for you. You will make a good husband and she will be a good wife and you'll have a good family." I took these as prompts from God? 

On the Sunday night, the evening before we set off to the lake, we were at Hilary and Judith's home. Amos asked me "when is the day?". My reply was "you'll be one of the first to know Amos!" Ali Doolan overheard and laughed as she knew it was to be very soon, sooner than Amos probably expected. 

At the lake- we all decided to go out on the lake in canoes (part of my master plan). Ali Doolan decided she would prefer a walk, but a sly eye glance from me changed her mind pretty swiftly. It was cloudy but as each pair boarded their boat the sun gleamed! The boat man at the lake told me that Rachel and I had to face the same direction, which meant I had to devise a way of turning round once in the boat and in the middle of the lake (which could prove fatal). 

We all headed off in our canoes, I told the others that I was taking Rachel off for some 'alone time'. We headed off towards the left of the lake, Rachel wanted to head towards the narrowest part of the lake where the valley met. The sun was shining on the lake and Rachel kept saying that everything was "perfect". As we rounded the second corner a house appeared on the shore with a huge love heart outside on the grass mountain.I knew this was the moment. Rach commented on how perfect this would be as a honeymoon destination, I kept wondering if she knew what was coming. 

I kept reaching into my bag to pull out the ring, but I kept pulling out something different...water, my camera, water again. I was nervous! The last time I reached into my bag I pulled out the Bible. We sang a worship song together 'You're beautiful' before I read from Song of Songs chapter 7 - you must read it to get a mental image of the situation. I still didn't feel like I could 'pop the question' then so I read 1 Corinthians 13. I knew after that, that this was the moment. Just as I was about to pull out the ring a boat of white people 'muzungo' came past. After it had passed Rachel said to me "you can turn round now" so I did. I sang a line of Bruno Mars to her "Just the way you are". I knew this was the moment. I had been gradually moving the ring to the top of the bag throughout the journey. As I got down on one knee I pulled the ring out of the bag and said "so Rachel... we have been together for two years and I love you lots and lots and lots and lots. We have been through our ups and downs and I Iike the person you have made me to be. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, so I have bought you a necklace". I got the ring out and opened the box, just so it was facing me. I went on to say "look, if it is the wrong size the woman in the shop said that you can change it for a better one, just like you change me for the better". Then I said "so, Rachel Melissa Banyard, will you marry me?". I turned the ring round and Rachel said "are you being serious?".  I gave her a look and then Rachel said "Lee Edward kirkby, yes I will". I put the ring on her finger. We then prayed and asked God to be at the centre of our relationship. We shared a kiss before taking some photos. Rachel was still crying - if you look at the photos you can see the tears. We were both in a moment of "what has just happened?". 

As we headed back to shore we took in the moment where it had happened. As we paddled back Rachel said to me "This is like our journey of life. It is hard work to paddle, probably steering off course. Sometimes we will be plain sailing, other times we will go round in circles...It is only when we work together that we make progress. At the end of the day it is that we are still in the boat together and that nothing will stop us". 

We got back to the shore and Ben had champagne at the ready. I shared the news with everyone, and the Champagne was popped!  We took lots of photos. I then told the story of what had happened and Martin Doolan began to cry, then Ben did, Ellie and even Annie shed a tear - Adam was speechless. 

It was the perfect moment and the happiest occasion ever! 

I cannot wait to be the husband of Rachel and to have Rachel as my wife!