Chinos, Toms and a Cassock.

Overpowered by the lingering clouds of incense. Holy Water as you enter. Six candles instead of two. An array of icons. A bell to announce the start of worship. A tabernacle containing reserved sacrament on the altar. A constantly lit candle. Some of the things Father David gave the opportunity for me to experience in his church today. St Alban the Martyr Parish Church in Hull. None of these are unfamiliar to me, but they've never had a regular home in my weekly experience of church. Until now…

St Albans is the place I'll be spending quite some time at, over the next couple of months, particularly Holy Week and Easter Day. A combination of work experience, observing, learning and 'just being' there will form my placement at St Albans. Why? Over the last 12-14 months, I've been pondering where I'm meant to be in life, and what God wants me to do. I've been discerning a call to ordination and am now in the process of preparing for a BAP or a Bishop's Advisory Panel, in the autumn. I'm working through a whole heap of books, form filling, journaling and book reviews.

I never considered being ordained when younger, and always wanted to be a pilot as child (a decision not to be, will be what many of my friends will be pleased about, considering my severe lack of driving ability), but having the privilege of the experiences I've encountered, the roles I've been honoured to fill, and respecting God's call of duty (which includes all of us Christians), I've felt a call to serve God, and serve God's people, my brothers and sisters, in a priestly capacity. I've not quite got my head around the prospect of potentially wearing fancy dress on a regular basis, but I do know my heart and mind is at peace with having to sacrifice my selfish desires, ways, and life, and allow God to steer the life God has given me, in the direction He sees fit. Not to say that I’m still anxious and nervous to say the least.

I know there's a degree of uncertainty, unknowns, challenges, opportunities, highs and lows yet to come, and this journey requires considerable patience, trust and faith on my part. But what I've been most humbled by, is people's support and their responses when I’ve told them of my decision to explore a call to ordination. Only tonight, someone said to me "I knew you would go forward for ordination eventually" and I'm thinking, "Well you could have warned me before I knew!" In fact, part of discerning a call, is when it’s confirmed by others, and it has been over a number of years, but I've more or less ruled out the idea, ignored and possibly blanked out the shouts, and lived for the current and not had my eyes on the bigger picture. This whole process is now a journey of discovery, listening, learning, exploring and discerning.

Father David asked if I had a cassock, and thankfully I do from when I was a part time virger at Beverley Minster. And so over the next few months whilst wearing a black dress, I’ll be surrounded by hundreds of years’ worth of ancient, multi-sensory, ‘smells and bells’, of the Anglo-Catholic tradition. A different approach I’m accustomed to, but I’m really looking forward to all things new, and experiencing the mystery of faith celebrated in the Anglo-Catholic way. Of course, I’ll still be continuing doing what I love, working as Youth Minister at Beverley Minster for the foreseeable future, where thankfully chinos and Toms are my uniform for Youth Ministry.

I'm sharing this with you because I’d love your prayers, and because I want to share my journey with you over the coming months!

God bless.